According to Brownielocks, April 3, 2013 is Weed out hate, Sow Seeds of Greatness Day. I think everyday should be that kind of day.
A couple of articles in the last month seem related to this thought of hate and greatness. The first is “Lost Pounds Lead to Burst Fantasy” is which women share how their problems of self image or relationships have not changed with their decrease in weight.
The second “Public Shame is a Better Example of “If it feels good – do it” than Teen Pregnancy” – a post by Brene Brown in response to the NYC public education campaign targeting teen pregnancy. This post highlights shaming doesn’t assist in creating positive changes. Rather, it is at the core of anger and blame. (I encourage you to take the time to read this post.)
Maybe it is just me, but it seems like the behaviors in others that bother me most are either ones I don’t understand or are things I don’t like in myself.
Learning to accept ourselves for who we are, the way we are is a GIANT first step. That doesn’t mean we don’t see things we would like to change. Rather, it means loving ourselves enough to want to do our best. The same is true for others – we need to accept them for who they are (warts and all) and support them in their efforts to better themselves.
Individuality seems to create joy in some folks while for others it brings an angry response. They should think like me, talk like me, act like me…Really? The fact is they aren’t you. Instead, treat others with the respect, honor and tolerance that you wish to receive. (Polite behavior can be contagious!)
Recently, a person requested on Facebook ideas for songs with easy words that have a simple positive message. The wonderful responses from others included:
- “Bright Light” by Barry Bernstein
- “We’re People Firs”t by Jeff Moyer
- “Down by the Riverside!” – lots of repetition, plus plenty of scope for rhythmic involvement.
There are so many beautiful songs that speak to honoring ourselves, loving others, looking for good around us. Here is a playlist to get you going.
I leave you with this inspirational prayer credited to St. Francis of Assisi:
I agree that shaming and blame never work to make someone change. If you’re part of a marginalized demographic, this holds especially true, and as you mentioned often brings about the opposite desired effect.
One of the main culprits is not taking the time to see the other person’s perspective. If I’m a teen and I’m sexually active, I’m not going to respond to a campaign that makes me feel guilty, bad or like I’m being looked down upon. These kids too often feel enough of these emotions at home and at school…Positive change comes with compassion 🙂
Bingo – taking the time to see the other person’s perspective is key.
Hi JoAnn – Beautiful post, I love the St Francis prayer. I agree with you and Linda shaming & blaming are not the way to cultivate a positive atmosphere in your family or relationship. take care, Kathy
Brene Brown is a favorite of mine, as is the St. Francis prayer. Thank you for the lovely playlist suggestions. I often find that turning to music helps me to soften my attitude and be more open.
Warmly,
Ann
I’d love to know what is on Brene Brown’s playlist…
I think this message of weeding out hate and sowing seeds of greatness can be communicated especially well through music, and through the relationships that elders have with younger people. I hope this is a lesson we can all learn as young as possible.
And, one we can continue to grow into. It is so easy to get used to a group of people that when we encounter those who look different or have yet another view, it can be challenge.
Thanks for ones marvelous posting! I actually enjoyed reading it, you could be a great author.
I will make certain to bookmark your blog and definitely will come back down the road.
I want to encourage you to definitely continue your great writing, have a nice evening!
Here is a quick update on how this campaign has spread in the past year….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zi3VCicnEMI
Warm Regards,
Marc Daniels
Thank you so much for sharing this update, Marc.