A few weeks back I read a beautiful post Rachel Macy Stafford titled “Six Words You Should Say Today“. This post reminded me how often our words as parents and adults tend to correct or instruct a child rather than support them in seeing their abilities, their gifts, their unique qualities.
Rachel encourages readers to use six words: “I love to watch you_____ .” These little words have amazing power when shared from the heart as outgrowths of observation. I would venture to say many adults could also benefit from hearing these six little words also spoken to them.
With Mother’s Day approaching, I have been thinking of my mom. As a child I don’t think I ever told her how much I loved to watch her, to share with her, to make music with her or to be with her. As she has passed away, I think I’ll pay it forward this Mother’s Day with a song for my daughter (and you).
Whether you are a mother, a father, a guardian, or a friend to a young person, I invite you to use this song substituting attributes about your own child. It’s good no matter the day or the season.
Lyrics:
__________ oh, my dear child, I love you for what you are. I love to watch you ________. I love to hear you ________. I love (more lengthy descriptions here). Unique and special, yes, your are. I love you and I always will.
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Thank you so much for helping to spread this loving message! I am so honored my post has touched so many lives and in so many different arenas of life. The song you wrote is beautiful! I have tears in my eyes. I cannot wait to sing this to my 5 year old about her ukulele playing and her singing. She is going to love it. What a gift you have provided us!
Rachel Macy Stafford
http://www.handsfreemama.com
Your post was beautiful, Rachel. I’m glad you like the song. Our children are such gifts. They deserve to hear that in words and song.
First off, what a gorgeous picture! I was so taken by your daughter’s big, beautiful eyes and smile that I didn’t realize it was a personal pic, at first.
Thank you for this simple, yet powerful message and activity to spread the love. I think my son would accept this and not recoil in embarrassment as he sometimes does if he sense something I say is too touchy-feely.
This post reminded me of a suggestion to hug someone for 6 seconds, as this has been proven to pass along feel-good chemicals. We’ve been doing this, and so far, no complaints. I’ll try the song, but I can’t guarantee it’ll sound anywhere near as lovely as your voice, JoAnn.
You’re so creative! Thanks for this lovely Mother’s Day remembrance.
My daughter does have beautiful eyes and a smile that lights up a room. The photo is from a while back, but I still like it.
Hugs are powerful as you so lovingly reminded me, Linda. Since singing also raises feel-good chemicals, I hope you enjoy the “buzz”.
This is great! Puts it so simply, so many parents ask how can they better speak with their child other than “Good Job, That’s pretty” that sort of thing. Simple, eloquent, impactfull!
There are times a “good job” or a high five are appropriate to a situation. But, putting detail to praise makes it more impactful (as you said, Jen). Thanks for your feedback.
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Lovely post! Lovey voice!
Thanks you, Kathy.
JoAnn,
I believe that when we take the time to give such specific feedback, we really demonstrate our presence and attention. Thank you for the suggestion.
Warmly,
Ann
Your comment is greatly appreciated and spot on, Ann.
Dear JoAnn,
Thanks for the reminder to tell people what we appreciate about them–at that moment. It is so helpful between parent and child. When we can do this for our children, we model the behavior, and it might just come back our way!
Best,
Carolyn Stone
We truly hope it is modeled and returned.